If only we knew the power fasting truly had! I think if we knew, everyone would be fasting from something all the time! I'll be the first to admit, I didn't get fasting. So, when I told my cousin I was going to fast from desserts as a way to pray for her while she was on an 11th month mission trip, I hoped I'd come to learn more about fasting. Before I started I even read up on it and listen to people talk about it on the Drew Mariani Show, a Catholic Radio Show on Relevant Radio. I knew God called me to the fast and the type of fast, so I had no doubt that God was going to teach me about fasting. I've come to realize there are two ways to fast. You can fast from something for yourself and your relationship with God. Another form of that is adding a special intention for someone, cause, etc. I found having my first fast be for someone extremely beneficially, especially because it was a long-term fast. My prayers were often for my cousin and for me in my fast and what I was learning in my relationship with God. I have changed through the fast and my prayers said for my cousin helped. I know without a doubt, I would not have prayed for her like I did and as often if I didn't fast for her. I do have more control over my desire for desserts, although they still call for me and if I am not careful, they will get the better of me. If only we were all fasting from something that "controlled" our lives as a way to grow closer to God through prayer and become the better versions of ourselves! Prayer changes things and fasting brings us to prayer (because we need to rely more on Christ to get us through the challenging times during the fast). Can you just imagine how much the world would change if we all started this? So, now that I've experienced the life-giving/changing nature of a fast, another one has tugged at my heart. A volunteer in one of my parish ministries has cancer. In December his treatments will start daily and once a week for 7 weeks. It will not be pretty. He has a family, whom he worries about. He is beautifully optimistic as one could be. He will be a fighter. This time, with him, there just needs to be more than just a few said prayers here and there. Cancer hits home for my family. My Grandma and Aunt Sherry (and Godmother) fought for their lives as they battled cancer, so I know the battle well. He's been a volunteer for me for a few years, and I've come to know his family. So, the situation just becomes more personal. He's the type of guy I've called up and asked for specific prayers relating to the program he volunteers for, because 1. I know he understands the program and 2. I know he will take it that seriously and pray about it. As a result, he just needs something significant! I decided on Sunday that I would fast from desserts and candy again while he fights through this nasty cancer. I told him on Monday (yesterday), which was day 1 for me. I chose the same type of fast again, because it is still a weakness of mine and I want to have an even better control over it. I pray (and truly believe) that my fast and prayers have a divine purpose. I know they will not compare to his suffering and pain, but I am happy to suffer what I can for his sufferings as his are far greater. Him and his family will need all the prayer they can get. Something like this is just something we do being brothers and sisters in Christ. Please pray for me as I fast for these efforts, but mostly for my volunteer and his family. Thank you. For the fears in his life and his family members... "I Am," by Jill Phillips
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Years ago I was talking with E. She was telling me about the struggles with her husband. She never thought life with him was going to be this way, that retirement was going to be like this. I can't remember the details anymore, but what she shared with me next was a life lesson I continue to reflection on. She came to a point in their marriage where she accepted her husband for who he is and life became better. Life became easier. Their relationship and marriage was better. It wasn't what she wanted it to be, but that was ok.
What I take from E is this... 1. Can I accept the things about me that I cannot change? I may never be super skinny. I have stretch marks. I've had gray hair since age 25. I have loose skin under my arms, and I may never have that surgery. I have a bad back, and the doc says I may always struggle with chronic pain despite my amazing efforts. My right leg is shorter than the left, so I wear a lift under my inserts (which all helps my back). And I'm sure my list could go on. College was a very profound time in my life. It was there that I developed a personal relationship with God and I knew for the first time what His love was for me. On my 20th birthday, I came to realize just how special my birth was - that I was a gift from God. And on that very day in that moment, the world changed. (This is why we celebrate birthdays with joy every year! And why you're worth celebrating - your life.) This was by far one of my best birthdays. I spent it with my Women's Bible Study, and I can remember the feeling like it was yesterday. The other moment when I came to accept and celebrate myself was when I really saw myself as truly beautiful for the first time in my life. I was standing in front of the dorm bathroom mirror. I think I was 23 or 24 close to student teaching. I saw my collar bones for the first time as an adult. It caused me to really pause for a moment and take a look at myself. Who was I becoming? It was a semester in my life that I was so happy in life and right before me, I saw a reflection of beauty. It was as if God was saying, "This is how I see you, Amy." Since then, I love myself like this no matter how my body or life changes. Yes, I can accept the things about me that I cannot change, and I love who God created me to be. There is only one me, and she is beautiful. 2. Can I accept others where they're at? I don't know which one is harder when you are honest with yourself. I suppose it could be different for you depending where you are at in life. E taught me that her husband wasn't changing, yet he was in her life. She could either whine and complain about him all the time or move forward with him in her life. Here are the options I see here for this lesson from E:
You can see how the first option is ideal. The second may be as well depending on the situation. However, it takes a lot of strength and courage from God to make that decision. So, wherever you are in your relationships, whether just meeting for the first time, related, friends, etc., I share this tidbit from E and my reflections. I have the chance to accept and love people where they're at in my work in parish ministry often. I've encounter people who are mad, angry, hurt, upset, hungry, full of doubt and questions, homeless (or on the verge), joyful, and happy many times when they come into the Parish Office or church. My desire is always to do God's will. And when I fail, I pray I do better next time. Can I accept the things about me that I cannot change? Do you believe that you are a beautiful creation of God's? Can I accept others where they're at, so I can develop a relationship with him/her?...so, I can really get to know him/her and vice versa (may not fit your context or situation)...so, I can let go of my negativity and struggles with this person...so, God can bring peace into my life over this relationship. I'd like to introduce to you these fabulous women that I workout with in my personal training sessions! Come February, it will be a year that we have been fighting the good fight together. Molly and Shay are sisters who bring a lot of joy, inspiration, and fun into my life.
I started personal training with Tyler for three months on my own. My boyfriend can attest to it, those were some challenging times for me. My back pain always brought me back for two sessions each week. As I suited myself up in my workout clothes, I pumped myself up into the fighter. I was determined to make it through another session. As I worked out each week, the fighter and the scared girl showed up. The sessions kicked my butt. I was humbled constantly. Every minute was hard. Most times I wanted to die, because I felt like I was dying! I never knew this kind of pain in my life and it was self induced. lol I took a break because of the expense. A few months later Tyler mentioned two sisters that were interested in group sessions! I was trilled with the possibility to get started again and with the reduced price. I had continued to lose weight in the mean time, but I wanted to continue to gain muscle like I was with the personal training sessions. It didn't take long to see that Shay and Molly would be a good fit. They have no idea how impressed I was with them. They came into the training sessions totally determined. Their mind and body was ready to go, or so it seemed, because they were right into what Tyler said to do. They weren't wasting anytime being afraid or wimping out on something. The Amy that may have complained or struggled before, had to dive in. This was now serious business. The bar was raised. With rotations with two other people and needing to stay up with other people's paces more, I needed to put on my big girl panties and try my very best. Otherwise, I'll weigh everyone down. I don't know if Molly and Shay will every truly know how impressed I was with them in the beginning. I think we impress each other now from time-to-time. We are each better at somethings. The two of them bring more joy and laughter into the sessions. I was very serious in the beginning of our sessions. I don't know if they remember this. It was just enough to make it through the sessions. Most of my talk became internal, because I knew the difficulty, faster pace, and type of focus (not just on me) that was ahead. I went to this place inside of me that fought with a goal to get the session completed and over with. Over time, Molly and Shay have brought in a lot of humor and companionship. It isn't just me fighting the good fight anymore. As time progresses personal training isn't so wearing on the body where I hate every minute (although some sessions it is) and I've come to relax more with Molly and Shay. We joke around and laugh. We each have our own goals, but what's nice is we want to keep going as we see fitness as a way of life not just a way to lose weight. We love our muscles, achievements, how our bodies are changing, reaching towards our new goals, and much more! Thanks Molly and Shay! Thanks Tyler! |
So this is me...I am a woman who lives with passion, self-reflection, and a desire to do God's will.
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